Drowning...

When I was young... REALLY young we went to visit my aunt & uncle in Little Rock, California. This is where I nearly drowned. We were swimming in an irrigation canal, and I got sucked under. Even now the memories are VERY vivid!!!

The floor of the canal was soft and muddy, it had grass growing along the edges. The water had to be higher than normal because part of that grass was under the water.

I can't remember before or really after I came up. I just remember seeing the legs of my cousins and sister....and the grass....I kept grabbing the grass...but it easily came out of the soft muddy bank. It felt like forever....Finally, I surfaced...

I remember looking around and no one had even noticed my struggle to reach the surface. Sometimes, right now, I think that no one noticing is more frightening than the near drowning.

But Today,

I took a willing step to overcome this memory.

I had my first voluntary swim lesson.

My day was filled with anxiety, whenever I had time to think about the swim lesson, especially the 1/2 hour I sat watching Sai swim at her practice. Man, I was nervous!!

I have taken swim lessons before, so I have the general idea, it is just the breathing and then putting my face under the water and then removing it and breathing again, etc... It takes everything in me to not just panic. My ex-husband signed me up for a quarter long swimming class in college. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. Near the end of the quarter the instructor informed me that if I didn't swim 25 yds without stopping with panic I would receive an F in the class. So I did it once. :)

This lesson was much easier than my previous experience, probably because it is my choice. I am beating this fear for only myself.

It will be fun to lap swim with Sai. (Yes, I have already accepted I will never be as fast as her) That will be my reward for beating my phobia. :)